Life and Business Mastery – Week 30: Whose Love Did You Crave Most?

Life and Business Mastery – Week 30: Whose Love Did You Crave Most?

We all come into this world like a sponge. We suck up all of the information that we can, and as we grow up, our experiences help to shape our world view. That is the information we carry forth into the world as an adult.

There is a famous saying ‘Give me the child until 7 and I’ll give you the adult’. In the early years children learn by ‘observation – imitation – repetition’ in a continuous cycle of adaptation. They learn to talk like us, walk like us, their facial expressions, mannerisms and tone of voice mirrors the person they bond with most usually their parents. They do this in order to learn but also to mirror the person who’s love they need to survive.

And the soundtrack of the family shapes their view and outlook on life and expectations. The soundtrack of our childhood can be positive or negative, functional or dysfunctional, uplifting and empowering or can crush our goals, dreams and self-worth.

Along the way though, we also develop our identity — which is directly derived from our parents. (Or sometimes a grandparent, or whomever it was that raised us or was very close to us.) Subconsciously, we seek to identify with the person whose love we craved most. Even if they have passed away, we shape ourselves into what we think we need to be in order to gain their love, their acceptance and their approval.

Think of the person whose love you craved most: what did you have to be for that person to accept and love you? What did you have to think or do to gain their approval?

How many times have you heard someone say: “I wasn’t (or was) raised like that”? And why does that matter to us? It matters because you have sourced your identity from your childhood, and from the person who raised you, so those are the beliefs you will always align yourself with.

By examining your childhood, and understanding whose love you craved most, you can get a more clear explanation of why you see yourself the way you do.

“Identity is this incredible invisible force that controls your whole life. It’s invisible, like gravity is invisible, but it controls your whole life.

Identity will then shape our expectation and sense of potential in life. Whether we see ourselves as a leader or entrepreneur and whether we will strive to be more or accept the comfort of an ordinary life. There is truth in the saying, if you think you can you can, if you think you cant you cant.

Some people cling so tightly to their identity that that might say I am or am not the sort of person who does that. The question is, when did you define yourself and put limits on your potential? The moment we stop growing we have decided to start dying. Yet deep down we know we are not meant to survive we are meant to thrive. We know that our Human Potential is unlimited. Yes we can change our identity as soon as we investigate and realize that it is learned and can be re-learned.

There is plenty of evidence from people who have struggled out of abusive relationships to thrive or reinvented themselves in business or been born again to arise as a fresh empowered identity because our past does not define our future. Everybody was once bad at something that they are now good at. We can strive, we can grow, we can be more than out limited view of ourselves.

The tools to grow and change are available to those of us that truly seek growth. We can change our limiting beliefs by challenging them, mirroring the behaviour of successful people and getting compelling goals and letting them become our obsession until we believe we can achieve them As we take massive action towards the goals we set better results will flow in and new belief will take root. We will start to adopt new more empowering beliefs and a positive cycle of living will take over.

Find out how by coming to my next seminar at PAWA 254.

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