There are a lot of fish in the sea, we just put them in these categories to make it easier on you.
1. The Always Turnt up one
You know this girl. She always wants to go out, always. Without fail in the morning she’ll ask you what your plans are for the night. You’ll say you don’t have any because it’s Wednesday and you’ll have work the next day. She’ll call you boring and say that you never want to do anything. The truth is you never actually want to do anything with her because she’s exhausting. You’ll break up and the next time you’ll see her she’ll be pregnant.
2. The ‘Deep’ one
Let’s not confuse deep here with particularly intelligent. The Deep girl is probably called ‘Star Breeze’ or something terrible that she gave herself and likes to indulge you in the connection between the disaster in Syria, the current drought we are facing and the socio-political implications of using too much wrapping on smartphone purchases and she is also exhausting but at least somewhat entertaining. You might feel something for her but she’ll probably cheat on you before anything real happens.
3. The crazy one
You always had your reservations about starting something with this one but you do it anyway because she’s hot. She’s also happens to be exceedingly insane. Well you can’t always win and as you have your fifth fight of the day two months into this relationship you realize that she was not passionate, she was actually drowning in insecurities and paranoia. You break up with her, you try anyway—it takes about 15 times and each time you leave fearing for your life.
4. The freaky one
She seems pretty normal at first and you indulge her and go out a few times before her real colours start to show. She smacks you across the face one time while you are getting busy out of nowhere and even though it shocks you, you try to get into it. It only goes downhill from here. She gets increasingly weirder with her sex habits and that is about the time you peace out. You do still think about her sometimes though.
5. The Guy’s girl
She ‘like just doesn’t get along with girls, you know,’ she says many times over. She is quite attractive in a way and you get along great because she’s really easy going. One day you wake up and realise that you have no real romantic feelings for her and that she reminds you of your sister more than anything. You also suspect that she feels the same way about you.
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