Dear Dr X,
Out of the blue one of my ex-boyfriends showed up back in my life and it’s been a weird time. I can’t say I have particularly deep feelings for him but we never really had a bad break up either. We just lost contact with each other and I forgot about him completely, well until now that is. The thing is even though I see why we broke up I think it has stirred up some old things I had let die. He even has a girlfriend but to be perfectly honest I don’t really care about that. I don’t want to be with him but I also don’t want to see him with anyone else. Everything in my head is a mess right now. I’m not sure whether to do something about it or just let it go.
If you actually knew what you wanted from your ex this problem would have been easier to solve. You can’t go around keeping people at arm’s length and expect them to run every time you call. If you don’t want to be with him then just don’t wreck another person’s relationship for no reason. Avoid him if you feel like old feelings are being aroused. Avoid him until it’s not a problem anymore. The more you see each other the messier things will become. And also get out more, meet other people, do yourself a favour and let the relationship die again before it starts up. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and many of whom do not carry your personal baggage.
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