Ask Dr X: My husband has a child by another woman and she’s making me angry

 

Dear Dr X,

My husband of nearly 15 years recently found out that he has a 20-year-old son by his former girlfriend. He had no idea that this child existed and I don’t blame him for any of it because they lost communication for a very long time. The problem is this former girlfriend, who is unmarried, has now seen the revelations as an opportunity to insert herself into our lives. My husband decided to start taking some financial responsibility for his son but the mother is getting a bit too involved and it’s making me uncomfortable. There is nothing that they need to be discussing in the middle of the night and that is when she makes all her communications. I don’t want to seem rude but I’m not feeling the way she is trying to carry on with my husband.

-Lily

READ ALSO: Ask Dr X: My boyfriend does not want us to work together

Dear Lily,

Maybe you should relax before jumping to conclusions over here. Yes, this must be a huge shock to the both of you and it is weird that she took so long to tell your husband about it but that might not necessarily mean that something shady is going on. If she is actually getting involved in your marriage then politely tell her to back off but if she is just trying to catch up with an old friend, whom she just happens to share a child with, then don’t jump the gun just yet. Tell her to make her calls at a time that everyone will be comfortable with to avoid future inconveniences and cut her some slack while you are at it. She did raise their son alone for 20 years.

-Dr X

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