Africa overwhelmed with weird church names

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With churches coming up every day it only makes sense that they should be subjected to the scrutiny that regular non-religious, businesses are exposed to. African pastors are some of the most flamboyant, campy individuals that we see, both on the pulpit and off. But this does not explain the bizarre names that they sometimes select for their ministries.

Ghana Web did run down of some of the most ludicrous church names that the site could find and they are all incredibly telling of our current state of affairs. At number one was the ‘Run For Your Life Ministry’ which has a no-bones about-it approach and simply does not care to coddle the congregation. What’s stranger is the church programme. On Thursday is the designated ‘Weak Persons Day’ which we can only speculate is to strengthen the ‘weak’ people while on Sunday is the ‘normal’ church for ‘normal’ people.

‘Jesus Elections Ministries’ where they presumably elect the Son of God to a higher status–what could be higher than the Son of God? The church has a surprisingly sober vision though, ‘Raising & establishing men in God’s Will,’ But what about the ladies?

Of all the outlandish names to hit the streets the longest and strangest belongs to the ‘Mountain of Swallowing Problems Interdenomination Prayer Ministry’. There are so many questions that come to mind looking at this church’s unbelievable name, for one what does it even mean? ‘Interdenomination Prayer Ministry’ makes sense if you dissect it deeply enough but ‘Mountain of Swallowing Problems’ is a problem in and of itself. How did the people in charge come up with this name?

At home in Kenya we are not immune to the charms of a ridiculous-sounding church name. ‘Helicopter of Christ Church’ is undoubtedly the first thing that springs to mind. Where the congregation in this case will fly ostensibly fly off in a helicopter when the Day of Judgement is upon us. Bishop. Thomas Wahome of the church has also been known to live a lavish lifestyle with pictures of his mansion circulating online and according to reports has been known to “check your name in the Book of Life,” for a small fee of course.

helicopter

 

‘Jet Fighter Ministries’ reportedly located in Embakasi, Nairobi carries on the trend of aircraft themed churches in the city. ‘Jet Fighter Ministries’ is quite the actionable name though, it must be a daily fight to keep evil out of that church.

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